10 Haiku

     I wrote these Haiku while sitting outside on our last day of English class. I hope none of these make anyone worry about me, and they really shouldn't. These are just for fun! Enjoy!

Jumping rope outside

Suddenly, I'm eight again

Time to go inside

I like smashing ants

Their tiny legs are so gross

I want them to die

The sun is so bright

And it is burning my skin

I want to go in

The wind blows gently

Through the grass in the courtyard

It feels very nice

Smiling takes a lot 

of commitment and some time

to get one ready

I love this one boy

He's the best guy in the world

He is very cute

I'm scared of the dark

I do not like the nighttime

I love the morning

But...

Waking up early 

for school is so hard to do

I'm glad I am done

I have so many 

things that I want to finish

unlike this Haiku

Jumping in puddles

always speckled my white tights

on the way to church 

Manifesto (I Hate Writing Poetry)

I hate writing poetry

            Because once I’m finished with one poem             

I want to write another

            And I really shouldn’t

I hate writing poetry

            Not because I think it’s bad

But because I know it’s bad

            And no one can tell me otherwise

I hate writing poetry

            Because sometimes you have to read it

In front of other people

            And they don’t like it either

I hate writing poetry

            Because I feel proud of it for a minute

Then I remember that it’s bad

            It smells dead, like a rotting carcass

I hate writing poetry…

Every time I try to sound profound

I sound like I’ve copied the works of the greats

            Every time I try to just write

It sounds like I don’t care

The truth is I don’t hate writing poetry

            I hate trying to sound like I’m someone I’m not

I hate repeating myself for dramatic effect

            Maybe if I say this phrase three more times I’ll get a good grade

No one writes for fun; it’s always for English class; some people try, but

            Others don’t care at all

Why don’t people just care?

            Not care about the assignment, but about exploring something new

Learn something from poetry

            I am so sick of people not caring about anything but themselves

Which is saying something because

I’m the most selfish person I know

            And if I’m selfish, I’d like to be selfish

I am so tired of trying to be something else

            I just want to write a poem or a manifesto or something

I want it to mean something to me and no one else

            I just want it to write itself or maybe flow out like water from a tap

I want it to be for me and only me

            I don’t want people to tell me what I mean by this line

I want it to mean what I say it does

I’m not writing this for a grade or for someone else

            This is only for me, and I need to remind myself of that

But you’re expected to be concerned about other people and help them

            But what if I don’t want to?

I hate writing poetry

            Because now that this one is over

I want to write more

            And I’m going to

Drafts

From the Vista Cruise

     I think it's so funny that I have 9 blog drafts right now. That number will change, but I'm just feeling like I can't finish anything. It's not that I'm not motivated right now, it's just that I don't want to publish any errors. I second-guess myself all the time. I just start one and then I realize that what I'm writing about would go better as a separate blog post. I keep going on and on about things... I don't know what to do. I'm so scared to post.
 I was just talking to Dr. N and I said to her, "it's not like anyone will read my posts," but she says some faculty members do. I just don't know what to write about and it's so hard to find pictures... Ugh. I don't know. But honesty, I hope I continue to write and update this blog over the summer and maybe till Christmas break next year. That's my goal. I would like to post at least twice a month over the summer and then I'd like to give little updates once I go to college. Let's see if I can do it! 

Thank You, Mr. Risdon

Dear Mr. Risdon, 
      I want to thank you for being a great teacher for eight years. I can't believe I've had you for that long. You were so much fun to have. At this last Spring Concert, I had so much fun surprising you with the "puppies"; your face was priceless. I have so many memories from the concerts when you'd turn to the audience and say something, then you'd turn your back and say something funny to us. My cheeks always hurt from smiling at you during the concerts. You're the coolest strings teacher ever because you can shred on guitar as well as any instrument in the room. 
     You've really motivated me over these years to continue with the violin. I'm not sure if I'll play in college or not, but if I do, it's because you encouraged me to. I always say how bad I am, because it's true, but you never actually agree, so that makes me feel a little better about myself. You encourage confidence in the orchestra. I hope that when I come back to visit, you won't make me play in front of everyone. I can always talk to you about everything even when it's not strings related. Thank you again for being an amazing teacher. 

-Kori 

I Hate What If's, but....

     If I had written a senior speech, this is what it would be.
     I have a message for the underclassmen: if there's someone, (a teacher, a peer, a parent), who says something negative to you or makes you feel worthless, I want you to bottle that up and use their words as fuel to get you out of here. You're so much more than what they think. I've felt worthless, I still feel worthless, but it gets better. That's the one thing they never actually tell you. It. Gets. Better. That's on thing I never remember. I've been down more than I've been up, but you have to go down to appreciate the ups. I don't think anyone would understand happiness until they've been sad. 
     Sometimes I wonder if I'm here for nothing. I wonder if I'm here at all. I just want to know what my purpose is right now. I hate this waiting. I thought that maybe once I turned 18, I'd just magically figure it out. But here's my birthday cake from this year. I really hope that this isn't foreshadowing of what my year entails. It's all melty and falling apart. 
     My high school experience has had mixed reviews from myself. Sometimes I lie to myself and say, "Oh it was horrible how did I survive?!" But other times, I lie the other way, "It was pretty good." But to be honest, I'm still living it, so I can't decide just yet. My roommate for college next year, Linzi, told me that all the bad things she goes through are for something better; she says that all the bad things are preparing her to be able to handle things better and get a better understanding, so she can help others.

She's a very talented painter, and she painted this in 56 hours. I can't imagine giving something important that much of my time. She's so amazing, and I can't wait see her again at orientation. I've already learned so much from her, and we haven't even moved in yet! 

Goodbye, Marshall!

     At Passage, Mr. Breen said something that really stuck with me. I'm going to paraphrase a bit, but he told us this old Irish story about a son and a father getting in a fight and the son hits the dad in the head with a shovel, and kills him, and then goes off to start a new life, but later, the dad shows back up because he isn't dead, and forgives him, and happily ever after. Mr. Breen said that as we're getting closer to graduation, we're the sons with shovels in our hands and Marshall is the father with a dent in it's head. We focus solely on the negative; we start finding flaws in everything that Marshall has to offer, but it's always going to be here for us. We find flaws so it's easier to cut ties. We find out who our real friends are because most of them we just put up with because we have to see them five days a week.
     

Thirty30 Photography / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

I really liked what Mr. Breen had to say because it's so true. I've been so ready to leave for so long, but now that it's wrapping up, I don't actually want to go just yet. I'm so sad that the last time I'll be up on stage, it'll be for graduation; no play, it's just me, the real me up there, becoming a new person. 
     

Thank You, Ms. K

Dear Ms. K, 
     Thank you for everything you've ever done for me! You've been like another mother to me these past years. You are such a talented photographer. I want to thank you for everything, like being the Yearbook advisor. You've had so many great ideas and I just loved creating with you. I know that this year, I was really busy, and I didn't really help much at all, but you understood because you're amazing. I think that you're an awesome mom to Calvin and Mason. I loved having Calvin in all of my prom groups, so we'd always have excellent pictures. You're so nice to talk to as well. You want to hear about my day, and you actually care when I tell you the lame drama that happens in our class. 
     I will always remember the times when you took pics of Calvin and he didn't look at the camera. I love that, and I'm laughing right now as I'm writing this. I hope that we still Facebook message and text even when I'm away at Drake. I'll still come home to visit you! Thank you again for being the best YOU ever. 

-Kori 

I am NOT a Color (part one)

     I wrote this poem a while ago because I felt the need to express myself. When I shared it with a friend, I pretended like I didn't write it until she said she liked it. I always want to write more poetry about stuff that applies to me, but it's hard to find time and then become inspired. It's also hard to articulate what I mean. 
     I was totally going to share the poem with you, but I honestly believe that it's garbage, so I'm not going to post it. I just want to share something personal with you. 
     

OregonDOT / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

My mom is white and my dad is black, so obviously, I am biracial. This, however, makes me appear more 'black' than 'white' because I have darker skin than some people. It's a struggle everyday because I feel 'white' because I was raised in a city full of white people who know very little about diversity, but I look 'black' because of my skin. I am not 'black' though, I'm brown. It's actually an issue that I've had to deal with on my own because neither parent fully understands; my mom thinks people stare at me because I'm beautiful, but I know it's because I have one of the only afros in our city or because of my skin. My dad doesn't really comment on the issue.
     I don't like talking about this because I'm afraid that if I bring up how I feel about racism and things like this that people will respond negatively. I'm so scared that if I bring it up, someone I trust will turn out to be racist. I had a friend of mine do that to me. We were decent friends for a few years, then he tells me that he wants to burn a cross on my yard and hang me. It's funny how everyone knows I hate him now, but no one really knew why. Some people tell me to get over it, but it's because they don't understand. No one will unless they've been in my shoes! 

I am NOT a Color (part two)

     I started this blog post with one thing in mind, but I completely forgot and started going on this tangent. 
     My mom runs a school, and she has these creepy dolls that the kids love to play with in her office. They're all different races and some are disabled, and my mom likes to tell the kids to put them into families. One thing she's noticed is that the families always change, and they're never ever separated by color. I just think it's interesting that the children are color blind in a sense.

The multicultural dolls

They don't think about what the skin colors are  or if one is deaf or not. They just arrange them in a way so the dolls can be happy. This is so important to me because adults and teens hardly ever do this; we always have to put people in these categories and box them up, but we don't need to do that ever. When meeting a new group of people, it's way easier to find similarities than it is to find differences. 
     I just wanted to put it out there that people shouldn't be view as colors. I know it's fun to joke about race and stereotypes, but in all seriousness, I think that we shouldn't; it's just going to make it that much harder to break the molds we're supposed to fit into.

Thank You, Madame Greenan

Dear Madame Greenan,
   I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do. I've had you for a teacher since ninth grade. You gave me and some other students the opportunity to do French II over the summer and join the Honors French III class. I am eternally grateful for that, so then by senior year, I could complete AP French V. You also wrote my recommendation letters for college, and thanks to your amazing writing skills, I got into my first choice of college and received an awesome scholarship! 
     I will always remember the time when you handed back our practice exams and I was so down on myself, and you told me that I have something that some other students don't. You made me feel so much better about myself because I am an active participant in class even if I can't say it in French exactly. You encouraged me to do my best, and you always motivated me to do my Compte Rendus. I have so much respect for you. I think that you're an awesome mom as well. I love that you call Goldfish, "fishy crackers." I love starting each B day with your class. You are seriously my favorite teacher, and I'm going to miss you next year. 

  -Colette 

Random Acts of Shakespeare 2014

     For Random Acts of Shakespeare, Part Two, I was in a group with Tim P. and HanVit O. Tim called us 'POP Group,' but it took me a second to realize why. My snippet was from Act One, Scene Five. In this scene, Cesario, who is actually Viola, is talking to Olivia. Olivia is mourning the loss of her brother, so her face is covered. Cesario/Viola wants to see Olivia's face, but Olivia doesn't want to show him. After being a little playful, she removes her veil. Cesario/Viola says that she looks good, if it isn't all makeup. Olivia is offended at first, but then Cesario/Viola apologizes, and makes her feel better. Tim is playing the role of Viola and HanVit is playing Olivia. We did this in the library on April 24th. 

Future Plans

Foter / CC BY-SA

     I'm not sure if everyone knows this, but when I grow up, I want to be a Marine Biologist. My intended major at Drake is Environmental Science. What I really want to do is focus on coral and maybe do something with coral conservation. Lately, I've been looking at this website because the pictures are just stunning. Here's a picture from foter.com. I'm actually super obsessed with coral, but hardly anyone really knows that. 
     When I was at the doctor's office (which has been a lot recently), I saw a magazine: Dive Training. I was attracted to it right away because of its oceanic qualities. There's this part of me that is terrified to try scuba diving, but then part of me loves to try new things, so I'd be all for it. 
The article that I read inside was talking about using different kelp and algae to create medicines, vitamins, and cancer treatments. It was really cool. 
     When I was done reading it, there was an elderly man walking towards me. Fun fact about me: I don't like old people unless they are related to me or I know them. I was really nervous and I don't like talking to strangers anyways, but he asked me if I could help him put on his coat because he has carpal tunnel, so I helped him because I can't say no to things. I really just thought that would be the end of it, but he sat down near me and talked to me. Ick, I thought to myself...  
     He thought I was a college student, which I laughed at because I am 5'1" and have the face of a 14 year old. We talked for a while, and I told him about my future plans. It was so nice to be able to tell somebody about it and ACTUALLY, LEGITIMATELY care. No one seems to care about a lot of things that I say, but this stranger was generally interested in my future. He had to leave, so I held the door for him and he said, "You are so kind and thoughtful. I wish you the best of luck in your adventures under the sea." That was super sweet because old people say the nicest things when you get to know them; they're super wise. I've always said that I've wanted to die young, but maybe getting old isn't so bad. 

Finding Inspiration

     For me, it's really hard to think of things to write about. I can come up with ideas at random times when it doesn't necessarily matter too much, but when creativity counts, I can never think of anything!

I know it seems pretty cliched to write a blog post about not being able to think of an idea for a blog post, but I think that this activity can get my creative juices flowing in order to write more posts in the future (considering the Blogging Without Obligation (BWO) challenge, posed by Dr. N, requires ten posts, and I've only completed five).  
     I'm going to talk about some random things, and see if that can spark some inspiration to keep my blog alive and well. 
     My mom started saying recently, "to live a good life, you need something to do, something to look forward to, and someone to love." I definitely feel like I've got that covered! I have a lot to do, and I feel like I have no time for anything anymore. I am hanging onto the shreds of my social life, and let's not even mention my grades!
     I know that I have a lot to look forward to because I'm going to the Imagine Dragons concert with my dear friend, Maddie (you can check out her blog here.) I'm in Hairspray, and I'm looking forward to the performances. I'm in All in the Timing here at school, and that's going to be hilarious!

I got into my first choice/dream school, and I get to go there and start the next part of my life. I'm so blessed with all of the opportunities that I am given/have received. 
     I definitely have someone to love. I have a great family that loves me and supports me in everything I do. I am very busy and I can't drive yet, so my mom, sister, dad, and sometimes grandma are very nice and drive me places. I appreciate that more than anything. 
   

 I want you to tell me what you're doing, what you're looking forward to, and who you love! Comment below! Thanks for taking the time to read this nonsense. 
     

Nail Art Fun

    

Random design

     One of my favorite things to do is create nail art. On YouTube, I am always watching nail art tutorials. These are two of my favorites: Cutepolish and HannahRoxNails. They are very talented young ladies, and I get my inspiration from them. They always say that practice is the only way to get better, and you can't expect to be perfect the first time you try something. You can practice on paper, yourself, and your friends too! I simply love painting my nails because it's complete self-expression. I can do whatever I want on my nails and no one can tell me otherwise. It's kind of like a tattoo, but less permanent. 

Minions for clone day

For Homecoming, I did galaxy nails 

    Nail art is a great way for me to relieve stress. I also love the excuse, "I can't do that; my nails are wet!" I'm right handed, so naturally that means that my left hand will look better, but sometimes, I mess up my left and I take more time on my right hand.

Fun nails for the Katy Perry concert

Hairspray, Wow!

Singing around the piano

     I am currently in Hairspray at the Duluth Playhouse, which I have mentioned in a previous blog post. My character's name is Judine and I'm one of the Dynamites. It's such a fun role to play because I get to be extremely sassy, and that is so hard for me to do! ;) 

Having down time

I remember when I first started rehearsing in January, and I was feeling nervous because I didn't know what to expect from the Playhouse after taking a break for 4 years. Things have changed with the Children's Theatre Program, but they've changed for the better. I'm actually learning so much, and I enjoy a great majority of the practices. It's a lot of fun to be with kids from all over the Twin Ports area. 

     The show is fun, but it has really important messages about how one should treat other people. The issues in this show are black and white: there is segregation and discrimination, but with the power of music and dancing, everyone can come together for to create the future. 

A theatre kid's night sky

     There are so many great songs, and I get them stuck in my head all the time! There's never a moment when I don't have Hairspray on my mind! And that goes for a literal sense as well; we have to use so much hairspray to keep our hair in place! It's so great to see everything coming together. 
      It's such a great thing to be a part of! I'm making so many new friends, but it's also sad because there are more people that I'm going to miss when I get to college! Make sure you attend! It runs March 13th through the 29th! 

Drake University, Here I Come!

Here's the yarn

      I was at Michael's (the craft store) because I wanted to start a new knitting project, and I could not decide what to pick because of all the yarn that they have. My sister, Kara, pointed out one that was dark blue with white stripes, and said, "Hey! This has your new school colors!" so I went with that one! 

Making progress

     I wanted to give you an update of my college plans since I haven't really talked about it too much on my blog. I will be attending Drake University in the fall, and I cannot be more excited! My major will be Environmental Science, but I'd like to double major with Biology, so I can do Marine Biology. I'd also like to minor in French, Music, or Theatre, or maybe all three! I'm so excited to start the next chapter of my life. 
     I recently joined a Facebook group for the class of 2018, and I had to post a little paragraph about myself, basically so I can start to make some friends. For me, it's so nerve-wracking to make new friends at this age! I was so nervous to even post, so I didn't for about a week. I finally got the courage to put myself out there, and a girl actually liked my post! And so did another boy! 
     I was really happy when the girl added me and started Facebook messaging me. Then she gave me her number and we've been texting nonstop for about 4 days now. She is so cool and fun, and we have a lot in common. We like a lot of the same music, which is very important. If she wants to, I'd love to room with her, but I don't want to come on too strong, so I'll wait until she asks. 
     I'm really looking forward to my next visit to Drake, which is over Spring Break for an Admitted Student day. I love what Drake has to offer, and they even send out a schedule of all the things you can do in Des Moines while you're there. I know that I'll want to go shopping! There are so many options and things to choose from. 
     So those are my college plans, and I'm so excited that I got into my first choice and I got a great scholarship! 

Mid-Winter Break

Snowy roads at my Grandma's House

     I've decided to take my blog in the creative direction. To be honest, I don't consider myself to be that creative, although I love doing art projects or making things. 
     Now when the weather looks like this, you're going to be stuck inside for a while. I decided to do something I've wanted to do for a long time: bake macaroons! 
     This was before I got really sick, but I was inspired by a YouTube video on how to make macaroons. The lady in the video made it look easy, so I said to myself, "Why not?"
    
 You only need a few things:         For the frosting you just need:
Three egg whites                           a stick of butter 
1/4 cup of white sugar                   and powdered sugar
2 cups of powdered sugar
1 cup of almond flour
and a pinch of salt

     I didn't really know what to expect, so I just went for it. The first thing you have to do is sift the powdered sugar and the almond flour to get rid of all the lumps, which at first I didn't think was necessary, and then I saw how many chunks were left, and I was very glad I did it. 

Sifting the almond flour

Left over almond remains

   

Getting fluffier!

Mixing the egg whites

     After all the dry ingredients are combined, you can move onto the egg whites and sugar. I have never done this before, so I was nervous that I'd mess everything up, but it said mixed for eight minutes, so I did. 



     I added pink food dye because I thought it looked pretty. I was worried that my macaroons wouldn't be perfect circles, so I traced the bottom of the salt on the parchment paper, and then flipped it over so none of the graphite got on the cookies. The perfect circle thing didn't turn out so well, but that doesn't affect the taste!

My attempt to be neat

Not so perfect

Lookin' good; all 19 of them

     After the cookies sat for 30 minutes to form a skin, I put them in the oven for 20 minutes at 300˚F. I made the butter cream for the filling and that was so easy, and it tasted great! I let the cookies cool for about an hour before I touched them because I was nervous that they would break. I paired up the ones that were similar in size. And of course, I accidentally made 19 instead of 20, so I didn't have perfect 10, I had to settle for 9. 

The finished product was so beautiful that I didn't want to eat it! I shared them with my family, and they were very impressed with my first try making macaroons! I was too, to be honest. I needed to be a bit more confident in my baking abilities. And that was how I spent one of the days on Mid-Winter Break, of course I should have been doing my homework, but this looked like more fun!