Summer of Illumination

When I first wrote this post, I still had the title the "Summer of X." I tried to think about what this summer of 2013 meant to me. It was a summer of firsts and a summer of lasts, but then I thought again.
     "'What should my title be? 'The Summer of Nothingness,' because I didn't do anything? 'The Summer of Laziness,' because I felt like I hadn't accomplished anything?'" That's when I realized that I learned about myself. I wanted to call it the "Summer of Enlightenment," but I feel like my summer wasn't a huge cultural movement in the late 17th and 18th centuries. I certainly did learn a lot though, and it was mostly about myself; I feel like when I look back, I will see that it was a turning point in my own history.
     As I started the Zoo Projects this summer, I learned a lot about commitment and that I care for other people a lot more than I care about myself. It's so important to be there when no one else can. During a lot of practices for these plays, I remember that there was always a small group of us. A lot of people had other priorities, but not me. I learned that I have a hard time saying no, and I learned that I like to be as involved as possible. I love to help other people, even if it means that I am giving up something for myself, such as my free time or my sanity. At times, I wanted to stop doing the plays because I was too lazy, but I definitely knew that when it came to drama, I didn't want to quit; I knew how much these little plays meant to Ms O.

Kara and me at the airport,
before she left for Tanzania

     When my sister, Kara, went to Tanzania for the month of July, I learned how much I depend on her. She is my best friend and she drives me everywhere, even crazy. That's obviously not the only reason why I love her so much, but it definitely adds to the list. Kara is super smart, and she's always making me look bad in front of my parents. I learned what it would be like to be an only child, sort of, and it was not very fun. It was nice on occasion, but it was just lonely... I did hang out with my friends a lot, but it's not the same. I also learned that once I got past the loneliness, it was okay to be alone. I don't want to be clichéd, but I did become more independent after the fact.
     Now, I think this summer has really changed me because I feel like I am on the right path to getting where I'm supposed to be. I know myself a little better now, and that can help me understand what I want in the future. I try to "cum grano salis," that is to take things as a grain of salt, and not too literally. I used to get upset really easily about little things. I mean, I still do, but now I get over them faster, and I think that's important because I need to focus on stuff that matters, like getting ready for college, not dwelling on little things that will mean nothing in a week's time.